The infamous
24 clock has counted down to zero and Jack Bauer has exited our television lives. After eight miserable days, JB can finally take a breather before continuing his killing spree on the big screen (
NOTE: Bauer's kill count after 8 seasons is
266. How far were you off?).
24 was easily one of the best action-dramas on television during its run. Although the flare of the show began to disappear near its end, it's hard to imagine a character of JB's stature entering my life any time soon. When people begin replacing "
Chuck Norris Facts" with "
Jack Bauer Facts" you know this character is instantly iconic. (
Favorite JB Fact: 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.)
There are many things to miss about JB and 24:
- The ridiculousness of an individual's day (Example: Battling terrorists without food or a bathroom break.)
- The curse of JB on the people around him (how mentally screwed-up Audrey Raines and Renee Walker become, death of sidekicks like Curtis, strained relationships with all immediate and extended family... just to name a few).
- CTU - the employees (R.I.P Edgar Stiles), the technology, and the their ability to dig up dirt on just about anyone on the planet within an hour or less.
- The US Government - You can definitely match up the presidents in 24 with the real-life politicians. Charles Logan = George Bush (obvious reasons), David Palmer = Barrack Obama (obvious reasons), Allison Taylor = TBD (it would be hilarious to see Hilary Clinton replicate some of Taylor's dirty deeds such as sending Chelsie Clinton to jail for conspiracy which results in a nasty divorce from Bill).
BUT the single most missed aspect of 24 will be... INTERROGATION SESSIONS WITH JACK BAUER!
You know how there are some aspects of a person's day that they have to do or else it throws the entire day off? Like going to the gym, talking to a significant other, or watching Sportscenter. Well for JB, he needs to interrogate a rotten traitor a minimum of two times a day. Minimum. To take it a step further, at least one session must consist of extreme tactics that has made JB a legendary badass. His interrogation methods is like a four-course meal with the victim deciding whether or not JB serves them another plate of agony (pun fully intended).
Course 1: Starter. You're starving and cranky. Typically, a meal starts off with some warm bread/buns just to get something in your stomach and get those taste buds going. JB Interrogation: The world is about to end and the victim has info that JB needs. JB is calm, cool and collected and "just wants to know the name of Person X. Let's make this easy. Give me his name and where can I find him." JB may even throw in the "full immunity" card just to persuade the victim to snitch which is equivalent to the butter that comes with the bread.
Course 2: Salad/Soup. Now that you're no longer a starving, miserable wreck you indulge in something hearty with flavor. JB Interrogation: The victim is keeping a tight lip on his info JB has no choice but to use force. He warms up with lots of in-your-face shouting followed up with "light" physical abuse. ie: sucker punch while victim is handcuffed, grabbing victim by the throat and throwing them against the wall, and slamming their head on a table.
Course 3: Entree. The main course. This will determine your dining experience and your overall perception of the menu/restaurant. So what will it be... steak of salmon? JB Interrogation: Okay, now JB is furious. The victim is not only not cooperating, they're also being a smartass. So JB has to dig deep into his bag of tricks to get the victim talking. If he decides to use "salmon" tactics, this would include threatening to kill the victim's significant others or injecting lethal chemicals to cause unbearable pain until they talk. If he goes with "steak" tactics, this would include cutting a finger off or shooting the wife's kneecap to make the victim snitch.
Course 4: Dessert. You're bloated and experiencing a lot of discomfort. Although dessert is tempting, it will take something extraordinary for your stomach to indulge more pain than it already is. JB Interrogation: Time is running out and the victim has officially become the worst part of JB's day. So JB has no choice but to use the ultimate tactic to get what he wants, death. JB may do it in quick fashion (ie. gun shots to Dana Walsh) or in gruesome fashion (ie: cutting out all internal organs to retrieve a data card that the victim swallowed).
9 times out of 10, JB is successful with his interrogations with the odd time of him walking away or being restrained. But a 90% success rate over 8 somewhat miserable days is not too shabby. Hopefully JB has some brighter days ahead of him but until then 24's tenure on television has come to an end. No more Monday nights of JB fighting terrorists plots which endanger thousands of innocent lives. He will take that battle to the big screen. I'll see you at Scotiabank Theatre, Mr. Bauer.
P.O.T: I'm looking at several new shows to replace 24. I have so far dived into How to Make it in America, Breaking Bad and Sons of Anarchy. Make your suggestions on which show is a must-see.
